Do you think if the Yankees had won that it wouldn’t be plastered all over every Internet site and on everyone’s lips? Crawls across the bottom of every 24-hour news channel would be filled with quotes from all the Yankee players and management about who they’re going to start in the League Championship Series, and of course, looking ahead to the inevitable World Series.

I don’t know about you, but I’m really tired of this New York-centric culture we live in, which I’ve had to put up with my whole life. You know, it’s the greatest city in the world, they have Broadway shows, Times Square, blah, blah, blah. The Yankees, according to New Yorkers, have been permanently anointed and are therefore supposed to win the World Series every year. Those years which do not result in a championship are considered failures. Give me a break.

Being eliminated in the first playoff round is particularly humiliating for such a team who feels entitled to scarf up everything in its path, who feels other teams should, by definition of being “other teams”, lie down and allow the Bronx juggernaut to steamroller over them. Fortunately, the Tigers had other plans. And now we will be spared having to gaze at Derek Jeter’s fucking smirk until next season. I’m actually surprised that the breathless countdown to his 3000th hit didn’t continue beyond it, so that we’re constantly informed that he’s now at 3001, 3002, my God that was hit number 3003! Anybody remember such hyped-up reporting surrounding Rafael Palmeiro’s 3000th hit? I didn’t think so.

My advice to the Yankees: go back to New York and get another year older.

You get the film itself, of course, which has been digitally remastered frame-by-frame. It looks and sounds terrific over my system, which is pretty decent. You also get a DVD of The Battle Over Citizen Kane, a documentary of the making of the film and the considerable trouble it caused in Hollywood.

Then there’s the DVD of RKO 281, the HBO film of a few years back detailing Orson Welles’ personal struggle to get the film made amid the Hollywood studio/plantation system.

But wait. There’s more!

There are the slick 5 x 7 reproductions of the poster and lobby cards.

For some reason, they saw fit to include reproductions of receipts from Schwab’s Pharmacy, who supplied liquor for a party. Note the $56 charge for “2 cases of Scotch”.

There’s a very nice, slim hardcover book about the movie.

Along with a replica of the souvenir program filmgoers received in 1941.

Of course, no release like this would be complete without a commentary, and this one comes with not one, but two commentaries by Peter Bogdanovich and Roger Ebert. The highly original 1941 trailer is also included. It’s not hard to see why this movie bombed when it came out. Audiences of the day, no matter how sophisticated, were just not ready for the fruits of Welles’ fertile imagination. The trailer alone should’ve tipped people off that this would not be another Hollywood feelgood film.

By the way, I’m adding this set to the 50th Anniversary boxed edition I purchased in 1991. Naturally, this was in the days of VHS tapes, so that set was much larger (13 x 11 x 4). It included the film, a VHS of Reflections On Citizen Kane, a bound copy of the final script, a 242-page hardcover book on Welles and the film, black-and-white stills, and a certificate of authenticity with a number (2272) and my name on it. In addition, when you bought this in 1991, you got a coupon which you could mail back and receive a full-sized special one-sheet poster made for the 50th anniversary. I’m assuming not many people sent away for this, but I did and it’s currently hanging in my house.

At any rate, go buy the Blu-Ray 70th Anniversary set. You won’t regret it.

I’ve also got a novel I’m working on which I’d really like to finish, so God did me a big favor by postponing everything for a few months. I’ll get it done before then.

Also, this gives me a chance to catch the final season of Boardwalk Empire, the ridiculously expensive HBO series which begins in July. The finale should coincide nicely with the new end-of-the-world date. Will Jimmy and the Commodore take over Nucky’s empire? Will Nucky pound some sense into Margaret? Will she quit all that babbling about women’s rights? I can hardly wait.

Season 6 of Dexter returns in the fall. Now, that could be dicey. If Oct 21 is the drop-dead date, I may not get to see many episodes, if any at all. Dexter fans should get up a petition to send to God to hold off on the end of the world till Season 6 is over. I’ll sign it for sure.

Of course, if that happens, and if God complies by extending it say, three more months, then we run into the problem of Mad Men. Season 5 of that terrific show is scheduled for “sometime early in 2012″, and if we’re all facing doom in January or February, how are we going to know what happens to Don Draper? Or Joan? Will Don finally wind up with Rachel like he should have been all along? I see another extension from God.

Okay, that takes us up to spring of 2012, and we all know what that means. American Idol will be in full swing. The auditions will be over, Hollywood week will be over, we’ll be into the final 6 or 7. Surely God knows he can’t bring earthquakes and volcanoes down on us until Ryan Seacrest tells us who the next American Idol will be.

And for those who sneer at American Idol, then Season 3 of Justified will be upon us during that same period. Even God knows we have to find out how Raylan Givens is going to handle Boyd Crowder’s latest antics. I have a feeling the Dixie Mafia will finally emerge fully-formed in this important season.

So that moves us into summer and we’re into baseball season again. The Marlins will finally play in their new stadium, which they’ve been waiting for since the beginning of time, so I’m afraid the end of the world might have to be pushed back yet again. Of course, then we’re right back to Dexter.

Maybe God could just have a volcano erupt under the house of that reverend who’s been yammering about this and take him instead of the rest of us.

And yes, this interview includes an MP-3 of my lone hit record from the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Then, of course, after reading the excerpt, if you are so totally electrified, you can get the entire book here in either digital (99¢) or paperback ($9.95).

On the way to the farm (bus ride into town, then a two-mile walk through the countryside), I snapped this shot on the way out of town. Dachshunds are my absolute favorite breed of dog, so I couldn’t resist this little guy.

This is the tobacco farm itself, with the farmhouse and the drying barn in the background.

On the way into the house, we passed this makeshift clothesline.

Once inside the house, I was astonished at how small it was. Two rooms, actually. This is the kitchen of a farmer who tends the most fertile tobacco-growing soil in the world. Life under Communism.

I should add that in Cuba, people do not actually own the homes they live in or the land they work. It’s all owned by the state. They can’t sell it, they can’t buy an adjacent piece of property, they can’t do anything except live in (or on) it and bequeath it to their heirs when they die. This draconian system was somewhat modified last week at the Sixth Congress of the Cuban Communist Party, aka the Last Goodbye to the Castro Brothers. Certain Cubans will (maybe) be able to actually own,buy, and sell their own homes and land, thereby creating a capitalist-style real estate market.

Other similar reforms have been instituted by previous party congresses only to be whimsically tossed aside by Fidel shortly thereafter. We’ll see how long these last.

In this shot, the farmer (sporting a “Hong Kong” t-shirt) demonstrates and explains the art of cigar-rolling. When the demonstration was concluded, he had some cigars for sale at the price of about $22 for ten, wrapped in a plain brown wrapper. Even though I don’t smoke, I gladly bought a pack of ten, knowing the money would go straight into his pocket, where it belongs. This is a practice I repeated throughout my whole trip, buying items directly from the Cuban people–clothing, CDs, etc.  The US has in recent years allowed Americans to bring items into the US that were made by the Cuban people, as opposed to those items made by Cuban government entities.

I might add, I gave the cigars to a cigar-smoking friend of mine once I returned to Key West.

On the way back to town, I stopped to check out some pineapple growing on someone else’s farm.

On the walk back into town, we stopped to check out this baseball game. It appeared to be organized, since the teams were wearing uniforms. The crowd of spectators numbered about a dozen.

Then we visited a cave. We entered on foot, but exited by boat, and this shot coming out of the subterranean darkness reminded me of the eerie jungle scenes of the original King Kong.

We returned to the hotel for our final night in Viñales. The next day, we would begin the long drive to Cienfuegos, but the last night was spent in this beautiful bar.

That’ll do it for now. Stay tuned for further installments from my fantastic voyage.

See you there!

It’s a book called The Celebrated Cases of Dick Tracy (1931-1951), and it was published in 1970 by Chelsea House. I paid $15 for it back then, and it was well worth it. Here are some shots of it. Let’s start with the front cover, by itself, then with a dollar bill on it for perspective.

Here’s the inside flap.

And the title page. Note the introduction by Ellery Queen.

Here’s the very first Tracy strip (1931).

Of course, they talk about Chester Gould at length, but most of the interior is devoted to black and white daily strips, like this one, where Tracy is pursuing Flattop.

Finally, the back cover.