I don’t know about you, but I breathed a big sigh of relief when I found out that God had something come up this past Saturday which made him reschedule the end of the world to Oct 21. I was worried I wasn’t going to make it to Killer Nashville or Bouchercon. I was also worried about the baseball season being cut short. The Marlins are going all the way this year, and even though the World Series probably won’t be over by Oct 21, they will have shown themselves to be clearly the superior team.
I’ve also got a novel I’m working on which I’d really like to finish, so God did me a big favor by postponing everything for a few months. I’ll get it done before then.
Also, this gives me a chance to catch the final season of Boardwalk Empire, the ridiculously expensive HBO series which begins in July. The finale should coincide nicely with the new end-of-the-world date. Will Jimmy and the Commodore take over Nucky’s empire? Will Nucky pound some sense into Margaret? Will she quit all that babbling about women’s rights? I can hardly wait.
Season 6 of Dexter returns in the fall. Now, that could be dicey. If Oct 21 is the drop-dead date, I may not get to see many episodes, if any at all. Dexter fans should get up a petition to send to God to hold off on the end of the world till Season 6 is over. I’ll sign it for sure.
Of course, if that happens, and if God complies by extending it say, three more months, then we run into the problem of Mad Men. Season 5 of that terrific show is scheduled for “sometime early in 2012”, and if we’re all facing doom in January or February, how are we going to know what happens to Don Draper? Or Joan? Will Don finally wind up with Rachel like he should have been all along? I see another extension from God.
Okay, that takes us up to spring of 2012, and we all know what that means. American Idol will be in full swing. The auditions will be over, Hollywood week will be over, we’ll be into the final 6 or 7. Surely God knows he can’t bring earthquakes and volcanoes down on us until Ryan Seacrest tells us who the next American Idol will be.
And for those who sneer at American Idol, then Season 3 ofÂ Justified will be upon us during that same period. Even God knows we have to find out how Raylan Givens is going to handle Boyd Crowder’s latest antics. I have a feeling the Dixie Mafia will finally emerge fully-formed in this important season.
So that moves us into summer and we’re into baseball season again. The Marlins will finally play in their new stadium, which they’ve been waiting for since the beginning of time, so I’m afraid the end of the world might have to be pushed back yet again. Of course, then we’re right back to Dexter.
Maybe God could just have a volcano erupt under the house of that reverend who’s been yammering about this and take him instead of the rest of us.