A couple of weeks ago, I took part in the Bald-Faced Liar thing that was spinning around the crime fiction community. I posted six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie about my secret, sordid past. A few people commented on what they thought the lie was, and a few more emailed me with their selections. But now…now it is time…time for the final, official truth to be revealed.

The seven claims I made were:

1. During my poker career, I once won a large pot from actor James Woods.

2. Back in my musical career, I once played piano behind Jerry Lee Lewis.

3. Also, back in my musical career, I often played in a bar in Honduras frequented by “death squad” members.

4. When I was in college, I was in several classes with Bill Clinton.

5. I was arrested in Zimbabwe as a “provocateur”.

6. While in Port Of Spain, Trinidad, I once danced with Miss Trinidad (of the Miss Universe contest, where she went on to finish 2nd).

7. I know, without doubt, who was behind the JFK assassination.

And yes, the lie is #7. Only Deborah Sharp was sharp enough to make the correct call. Everyone else, without exception selected #5, which I’m afraid actually happened, along with #s 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6.

Okay, now that that’s done with, anybody got anything they’d like to sound off about? On any subject at all? Come in, please. Over.

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  1. Joyce Ann

    Since I just discovered this alter ego sight, I didn’t get a stab at these selections. I would like to persuade you that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone assassinating JFK. The reasons are: 1) There are no secrets; 2) Especially in a political environment; 3) if LBJ had anything to do with JFK’s death, Bobby Kennedy and the family had so much national sympathy at the time they could have had LBJ drawn and quartered in a public place–and they didn’t like him to begin with–so they would have, if it were justified. There was nothing to cover up. It was a tragic event committed by a mentally ill, paranoid man–probably schizophrenic.

    And, I always wanted to ask you if you had classes with Bill Clinton. Now I know. What were they like? I would also like to ask Tom Pauken if he had classes with Bill Clinton. His kids went to the same Catholic High School as my daughter. So did William Buckley’s nephew. Did you hear he is considering running for Senate–if KBH will just quit. But, he has already lost 5 races, and he has no coattails, so it is a long shot.

    BTW–what would have been wrong with Michael Joseph?

    Our last name is REALLY difficult, so my son once said when he became famous he was changing it to Jerry Floyd. I hope he doesn’t do that.

  2. Joyce Ann

    Oh yeah, when did you learn to dance? What kind of dancing did you do with Miss Trinidad? Where and when did you play behind Jerry Lee? (Don’t tell me another place, another time) and who bailed you out in Zimbabwe–do they like country music over there?

    Finally, I herewith give you permission to remove the ID bracelet I gave you. You are released from your promise.

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